The Gym

In the local gym in Palmerston North, New Zealand, walking from one weights station to another. A guy about my age walks upto me. 

Him: hey- your shirt

Me: I’m sorry..?

Him: the logo on your shirt- I’ve seen it somewhere before. Where’s it from?

Me: oh these guys? They make films.

Him: oh really? What sort of fil.......?

He went silent.

And then bright red.

I smiled.

Me: they’re pretty good, aren’t they?

Him: umm….yes [he reluctantly agreed] yes they are.

How is everyone?

That was 2007. Most of you will know that I don’t really count going to the gym as exercise. It’s just something I do. As a rugby

All this because someone ate a half-cooked bat... 

player and sprinter, it’s just part of life. However, with the rest of the world, I’ve had to make some drastic changes over the last couple of years- last year saw the longest period of time since I was 13 that I hadn’t seen the inside of a gym. And while not devastating, considering the real suffering and death that the pandemic has brought to the world, being reduced to jogging and lifting my loudspeakers for upto 6months at a time was quite a significant lifestyle change. I lost 9kg (most people had the opposite problem…). I'm currently working to get it back. 

On the plus side, I still have my health. I’ve had all three doses of the vaccine and 26 negative COVID tests. Actually, the whole lockdown thing wasn’t that big a deal for me- as a healthcare worker, I still had to go to work, and it was was awesome there being virtually no traffic. And having done so many exams, I’ve done more self-imposed lockdowns than I’d care to remember, so adding on another few didn’t really affect me. I did feel sorry for a lot of other people who really struggled spending so much time by themselves in order to follow guidelines and keep people safe- they showed a real sense of social responsibility at great personal cost, which I hugely admired. It made my job a lot easier- the part of Melbourne I was working in had relatives few cases- 98% mask0wearing compliance no doubt played a huge role in that. 

I just had to share Johnathan Pies sketch on mask-wearing- it articulates the theory much better than I ever could…..

With socialising on ice, dating metamorphasised into an unrecognisable form- video dates became a thing. And they never went anywhere. Walking dates became a thing. And they almost never went anywhere. I’ve always viewed internet dating as an optional extra. I much prefer meeting people organically. It’s more fun, plus you get a three dimensional perspective of the person and know that you already have something of a connection before actually meeting, giving much fewer unpleasant surprises [that girl with the bad breath. I’m sorry- I just couldn’t do it….].

I figured that in-person approaching would be highly unlikely to be successful in the current climate, but thought I should at least explore it just to test it out.

I saw a girl while I was at the farmers market lower her mask to take a sip of her coffee, and thought it would be nice to ask her out. So I approached her and paid a polite compliment as a means of starting a conversation, as I usually do.

She stared at me as if I was about to club her over the head and drag her in to the bushes.

No sale. As I thought.

Hmmm… strangely enough, women tend not to respond positively when approached my men wearing masks. Funny that….

Anyway- the search continues. I know it’s been a while since my last one of these, but some things too sensitive for me to share have made it difficult for me to motivate myself to keep you all updated. I’ll do my best to catch up. 

Watch this space. 

Victor.