Tuesday 4 December 2012

Ordinary Girl

I met Rachel in 2005 at Latinos Bar in Wellington. I was in Wellington playing sevens that weekend, as well as watching the international sevens with my team from Invercargill, where I was working at the time.

On the Saturday night, my team-mates all went out to get drunk, and I went out to salsa, and she happened to be playing saxaphone in the band that night. During their interval, I asked her to dance, and we did (not actually indicative of anything in salsa- everyone dances with everyone), but we got talking, and got on quite well. We swapped numbers and made plans to meet the next day, but they never materialised, as she had to travel in the afternoon for a show, and I was playing in the morning. I even offered not to go to watch the international rugby, which she thought was very sweet, but still didn't make it any more possible.

I went back to Invercargill the following day, but told her that I often went up to Christchurch to dance salsa (there wasn't any in Invercargill at the time), and see my friends Carl and Amanda. It happens that her siblings live in Christchurch, and I got a message from her the following week saying that she would be in Christchurch the next weekend, and wanted to know if I would be there, and as luck would have it, I had already planned to be there that weekend.

We had dinner at Sams Jazz Bar and then went out to salsa at the Warner Hotel in Cathedral Square. We kissed for the first time. On the dance floor. An onlooker (who wasn't a salsa dancer) shouted out "So, what move's THAT, then???".

The next time we met was at Jambalaya in Rotorua: a world music and dance festival, but quite heavily centred on salsa. She was playing in two of the bands, and I just  went to dance.
We spent a lot of time together over those 4 days, and got on awesomely. Over that year, I was flying upto either Wellington or Christchurch to see her on alternate weekends, but it didn't feel like an effort at all. About 5 months into it, I was having a hard time at work, doing an orthopaedic rotation, which I hated. I got back from a weekend with her, and we messaged each other:

Me: being with you eases the pain. Thank you for being who you are.
Her: I think I'm falling in love with you.
Me: I think I love you, too.

It was frightening, but natural at the same time. I'd never been in love before (or since).

We went from strength to strength for the rest of the year, and my colleagues noticed that there was something different about me. I went back to London mid-year, and worked and extra set of nights so I could buy her a ticket, too. she was staying with some of her Kiwi friends, as my parents wouldn't allow her into their house, and didn't want to meet her at all, as they didn't want me to be in a relationship with anyone other than a nigerian girl. This made it really hard for me, having to split my time between her and family. She came to my friend Richards, wedding, though, and all my friends loved her. They said that they'd never seen me smile so much. And I smile ALOT.

When I went home for Christmas, my parents forbade me to go back to New Zealand to see her, and despite never having met or spoken to her, said some things about her that really were not very nice at all.

At all.

I packed my bags and left without telling them, and stayed in my friends empty apartment in North London. I called Rachel and explained the situation to her, and she burst into tears feeling like she was somehow to blame. I told her not to be ridiculous and that I'd come back to her soon.
While I was in hiding, Mum and Dad turned on each other, blaming each other for me disappearing. Personally, I think they were both as backward and african as each other, and it still fills me with anger to think of how smallminded they were being, and how mean they could be to somebody who had done nothing to them, and that they had never even spoken to.

Rachel and I were together for 2 more years after that. Although we're not together anymore, we're still friends, and she'll always be special to me.

The song (original draft):
http://youtu.be/O-LIvlcVM68

The professional version:
http://soundcloud.com/victor-steele/ordinary-girl

The words:
http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/ordinary-girl-lyrics.html

If you'd like to be added to my mailing list to get these diary entries sent to you directly, and would like a free download of 2 of my songs, then just enter your name and email address into the form below, and they'll be sent to you instantly :)

Ordinary Girl Lyrics


Ordinary Girl




I was told

Never go

back to you


I just say

There’s no way

I can lose you


When you call

I fall

More and more


Its just like

What both our lives

Were made for



What they say

There’s no way

For us two


What I want

Has always been

Me and you


Just hold on

Not long for us to wait


Our love is

Much stronger

Than their hate



There’s nobody else can take me there

We can pass the day without a care

Nothing more I need from you

That’s because I know you love me too


Even when they try to hold you down

You can raise a smile from a frown

Won’t give you an ordinary love

Because you’re not an ordinary girl



I don’t know

Where I’d be

without you


I'm lost in

Everything

About you


The joy that

You bring me

Is so new


You know I

Can tell that

You feel it too


There’s nobody else can take me there

We can pass the day without a care

Nothing more I need from you

That’s because I know you love me too


Even when they try to hold you down

You can raise a smile from a frown

Won’t give you an ordinary love

Because you’re not an ordinary girl


Anyone can see you were made for me

Won’t give you an ordinary love

Because you’re not an ordinary girl


[Interlude]


There’s nobody else can take me there

We can pass the day without a care

Nothing more I need from you

That’s because I know you love me too


Even when they try to hold you down

You can raise a smile from a frown

Won’t give you an ordinary love

Because you’re not an ordinary girl


Anyone can see you were made for me

Won’t give you an ordinary love

Because you’re not an ordinary girl



[Ad lib.]


 Copyright 2012.
If you'd like to be added to my mailing list to get these diary entries sent to you directly, and would like a free download of 2 of my songs, then just enter your name and email address into the form below, and they'll be sent to you instantly :)

Monday 3 December 2012

Never Learn

In January 2010, I took a midweek break to Adelaide, just to check it out, as I'd never been there before. I was pleasantly surprised- it was quiet, but friendly, with a decent amount of things to do. I went to the botanical gardens, walked around the city, rode the O-bahn and went on a wine tour. In between, I would go to the gym. the Fitness First in the city centre had a receptionist that I thought was pretty cute- a little tom-boyish, but still cute. We didn't say much to each other apart from the usual business pleasantries, and I got on with my workout.

On my last night, I went to HQ: one of the main nightclubs. It was student night, so I was feeling a little out of place, but I just went ahead and did what I normally do in any potentially awkward situation: danced. and loved it.

As I was checking out one of the side rooms, a really pretty girl walked past me, waving and smiling. At first  I thought she was weird, but then I realised that it was the receptionist from the gym. I smiled and waved back.

I caught up with her as I was leaving, and we talked for a while. Her name was Tamara. We got on really well, and I told her how pretty I thought she was. She turned bright red, but also smiled. I asked for her number, but she said she was too shy, so I added her on Facebook.

We messaged each other occasionally, and eventually swapped numbers and began texting. Everything about her seemed genuine, and I don't get that feeling about a girl very often.

About a year later, I was on study leave for a week on the Gold Coast, and thought I would head down to Adelaide for a couple of days. I told her about this, and she agreed to meet up.
As I was at the airport about to check in, I got a Facebook message from her saying that she couldn't meet because she and her friend had to go look at cars. I didn't get on the plane, and went to work instead. She apologised profusely, saying that she didn't realise that I was going to Adelaide just to see her. She really was being genuine in that, as I deliberately never made it clear that that was what I was doing, as I didn't want to put her under any pressure, or make her think that I was expecting anything from her. We happily stayed in touch.

About 8 months later, we were speaking on the phone quite regularly, and I told her that I had a few days off coming up, and I could come down to Adelaide to see her. She said that would be cool. I booked my flights and a hotel room for the night.
I met her for a coffee just after she finished work, and we talked about what we were going to do for the evening. We made plans, and she said she just had to go home to change and sort some things out, but she's come back out to meet me. While she was doing that, I got a movie for us to watch, and started making dinner plans, but then I got a message from her saying that she was really tired, and would rather stay in for the night. I asked her if there was nothing she could do, like take a quick nap and then come out, but she said no. I explained that I had come from Sydney just to see her, but it made no difference.

So basically, I went to Adelaide to watch Family Guy and eat indian takeaway by myself.

You never learn, do you, Victor....?


The song.

http://youtu.be/hmEp4x-JxmY

Here's the professional recording:
http://soundcloud.com/victor-steele/never-learn

The words.
http://victor-thediary.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/never-learn-lyrics.html

Never Learn Lyrics


Never Learn


Once again
I come back empty handed
Once again
I sit here feeling stranded
 
Time and time again I swear I'll never find myself in this crazy situation
 

And then you turn around and then I fly right on to see you with no..... no hesitation
 

I don't know why I can't see
You'll never be what I deserve
And people try to tell me
But I never learn
I don't know why I give you
The respect you never earn
And people try to tell me
But I never learn
 
Please explain
What's fair about this
Would you do the same for me?
Do you really want this?
 
It's not about the time and money, I just hate the sudden feeling of being disconnected
 
If we turn this around would you not feel just a little bit disrespected?
 
I don't know why I can't see
You'll never be what I deserve


And people try to tell me
But I never learn
I don't know why I give you
The respect you never earn
And people try to warn me
But I never learn
 
I'm
Movin' on
I'm
Movin' on
 
I don't know why I can't see
You'll never be what I deserve
And people try to tell me
But I never learn
I don't know why I give you
The respect you never earn
And people try to warn me
But I never learn
 
I'm
Movin' on
I'm
Movin' on
Copyright 2012.
If you're a fan of my music and other indie/rock music, and would like a free download of 2 of my songs, then just enter your name and email address into the form below, and they'll be sent to you instantly :)